You think I'd be more excited about this -- which I am -- but, for the past week or so... I don't know how to describe it, but basically the notion of starting from pure scratch has and still does scare me. It feels like I'm a fish out of water, and the water is out of reach. I don't know if I'll flop into the water, or just dry up. I'm socially awkward (points to title). I don't know if I'm shy or...
Anyway, ROTC. Let me put it this way; I'm already isolated due to my shitty grade. I want to be in the program, but for me to be a cadet, I got to have a 2.0gpa. I just got off of suspension, and thus, it will take me forever and a half to build it back up; I'm already about a year and a half behind, which means I know I won't graduate on time, or even the year after, and I'm behind the powercurve. It's one of those feelings like, what am I gonna tell people? How will they view me when I tell them? In short, I can't take the lab, and I'm listed as "special student" which to me says, you can still take the class but you suck -- grade wise. It'll be real apparent come Wednesday, and I'm prepared for whatever questions that may come from my peers. (They're a great bunch from what I can tell.)
However, I'm not gonna let that stop me. I've sat out a whole year; I'm not gonna have some numbers bring me down. It's a new year, and I can start fresh. I've already planned out what I'm gonna do on Wednesdays; wear something nice/casusal to compensate for lack of uniform. Hell, it's the only feasible option.
Muse wise; I've been good with Patrick and he has to me. In the course of 2 days, I've basically got a chapter writ down and the majority typed in the span of about... 2 or 3 days. I've been working at a snail's pace for so long (I blame the bouts of depression), it's like a flood gate. I've also solved some of the things I've left wide open. While drinking hot chocolate. I'm convinced that the frappu distracts me because it is that delicious. Help me if I get the Venti.
- Mood:
gloomy - Music:Lost - Gorilla Zoe ft. Lil Wayne
But, blushing doujin Zoro will have to do. Wonder why he's blushing... maybe something Sanji (or Robin... or Nami...) said. YEAH I WENT THERE.
Anyway, this is my lightest haul ever, but I mean, I really didn't ask for anything specific, plus, there really wasn't too much of anything that I really, truly wanted. I don't mind at all; I've got everything. One of the presents I knew beforehand, and that was the giftcard from Barnes and Noble. See, I purposely followed my mom into the bookstore after I discovered where she was. I was gonna surprise her, but, I thought better of it, and turned away into a sea of people (and bookshelves). Then, I got a Circuit City giftcard...and then the surprise, an Underarmour hoodie. I've kinda bitched about how Moppy and Poppy had like loads of shirts, and I just had 2 and a pair of shorts (from band... and the shorts are like causing some serious camel toe. Great.) So, I got the hoodie from Poppy. It's a little big on me, seeing that it's a Small in Men's but it looks great. And it's in the Auburn blue. (Which is Navy). He said though, it'd be the start of my eventual sculpting of the body. It's not that I'm fat or anything; I just love snacks. The good thing about my genetics, is that if I just quit eating the horrible (but so good) snacks, I can drop weight and my stomach won't stick out. And then I'm doing Tennis and AFROTC (there will be PT involved). It should take about, a month? I'm 20 so it really helps things.
So, in short:
- $40 gift card - Barnes and Noble (from Moppy)
- $60 gift card - Circuit City (ditto)
- Underarmour Hoodie (from Poppy)
- Mystery gift from my brother
So, I just realized that you can use giftcards on-line too. Yeah, I may be slow but it's not everyday that I get giftcards. So, I sorta surfed B&N, and I went, "Hey, maybe Titanicus is cheaper online." I searched for it, and it was, for 19.95, about 5 dollars less than MSRB. But, I kinda glanced off to the corner, and I saw the # used from $x.xx. And the starting price was like $13.72. Don't need to tell me twice about the price damn it. It came up to $17.61 with shipping, but even the, in the store, I'd be paying... $27. On top of THAT, I guess I placed my order early (around 11:30) and it's already been shipped. Since the dealer is in Florida, it's probably gonna take maybe 2 days tops to get here. So yeah, pretty stoked about that. Of course, I gotta finish the book before the 6th at least, because, y'know, school. (Which is great. FINALLY) Besides, I can't think of anything else that I want to get that. Even with the Circuit City card... maybe, I shall wait on CheapAssGamer.
Back to 4. My brother told me like, after Thanksgiving that he already got my gift. I'm like 'wtf'. I decided to text him this morning, and well, I'm gonna have to wait until next week to get my present -- Good ole Uncle Sam as he puts it -- so I shoot one back, asking him what did he get me. "Am I gonna have to spectulate (sic)? Not that I'm impatient or anything..." The only hint I got was basically something that I will enjoy doing.
I have no idea what this is. I'm a vague person, even to myself. iPod Touch? 360? Hell, a PS3? Maybe I'm still expecting too much
Tomorrow though, will be a different story. I may or may not go exercising with Poppy, since Moppy will go back to the hometown for the weekend. Reason I'm not going is... it's stuck in a fucking timewarp for one, and two, the constant chatter/gossip of Moppy, GranMoppy, my cousin... I feel sorry for my uncle though. All that estrogen. Plus, he plans on looking through the sales, with a CoA of course (Course of Action for those who aren't military inclined...or haven't touched a game of Metal Gear).
I'm armed with... 2 giftcards. (And maybe Poppy too. ;D)
Forgot to say, I've listed the tropes that apply to the Project series as a whole. There is a lot, and some of them are averted/subverted. I'll just scan the page(s) when I'm completely done with it. There's no use to me listen them by story because, well, they'll overlap.
But, I think I'm starting to get my grove back. I blame
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
emeraldstag for that. ;P- Location:home
- Mood:
giggly - Music:Frogs in the back yard
Most of the time, I just get the (terrible) mood swings, tenderness (argh), headaches, stress...and insomnia. Seriously, because I was falling asleep every 15 minutes for hours and ... yeah. Hell I tried watching old cartoons on Youtube, and normally that does the trick of putting me back to sleep. Nope. Well, I was kinda hungry, but I didn't have any breakfast packs (pancakes and sausages) so, I just ate 10 strips of bacon and the rest of that vanilla frappu coffee -- for those who aren't used to my legendary appetite, that's actually normal -- but that didn't help either!
So, here I am, up since 4:30. Maybe it's the coffee drink...
Anyway, I joined up on NaNoWriMo a couple of days ago... and I'm using Epsilon. A bit of a cheat, but, I was surprised I was basically halfway to the goal of 50k. I've 24,xxx words. Didn't think it was that much. I'm going at such a snail's pace. Maybe because I've always wrote when I had nothing to do at school (well, should've been studying but that's besides the point) and I'd normally bust 500-1,500 a day. Now I'm lucky if I get 5 words in. My priorities are messed up. You'd think with all this time that I'd be halfway done with the whole thing.
I'm definitely going to write after the bottom wisdom teeth come out, and I'm high on codiene pills. Things will probably be more vivid, I can say that much. And no, I don't do drugs... shit, I'll be even more crazier than I am now. I hate pills and needles as it is. I've been writing at Barnes and Noble, in the Starbucks cafe. I get better vibes than what I do at the library. At least I don't have anyone staring at me as they walk by, or do that 3 or 4 times ... it's quiet. 'course I bring my iPod and Skullcandies... best $30 I've spent.
I'm growing agitated/grumpy by the hour. It's only a matter of time.
- Location:bed
- Mood:
contemplative - Music:Heroic Assault - Steve Jablonsky
headacheMy dreams... have been strange to say the least. Maybe it's Patrick acting up again, powers at be... who knows. It'll probably never top the one with the two lesbians, tentacles, and Abe Lincoln in a log cabin. I shit you not. Then again, I was working on a chapter, and let's just say Epsilon may or may not be a little squick because it has to do with medical stuff. I've watched plenty of procedures since I was little and...it's never been that squick to me. Even if I'm eating. I know, I was and still am a weird person.
So, because of the nature of this dream, Imma put it behind this cut here. So, if you're easily squicked, you may leave the room or turn elsewhere or occupy yourself.
*waits*
( Heart in a Box )
Yeah so... at least it could've been worst, but at the same time I'm glad it didn't. Otoh, for some reason, I kinda want to use this idea.
Epsilon... or Nightingale Virus?
- Location:bed
- Mood:
scared - Music:I Choose Noise - Hybrid
And by that, I mean I was seriously stressed out to the point I lost sleep over it. But, with some clever manuvering and thought out the most possible scenerios, I just kinda dropped it. My dad kinda sensed this and basically told me, 'even if you do get suspension, we'll still love you.'
Yeah, after the screaming and crying I bet.
...so I wasn't as optimistic as I thought. But! If I manage to get a D, i still get credit, even though it's like 1 point; better than a 0, and if I get 3 C's, that's 6 points. I already got a A in music (provided i don't screw up) and that's 4 points. That's 11 points. I know that's not much but it will get me out of warning/probation (wait, aren't they two different things?). If not... well. It'll probably take me about 4 and a 1/2 years to graduate. But, if I get through this, I have to complete my pre-eng shit, which will probably kill me. I failed to look at the 2 sciences completed and i pretty much failed geology, no lie. I have it as my core.
BUT!
I'm supposed to have a science elective thing going on, so, I'm gonna switch my Biology back to core and use Geology as my elective, if I can do that. That way, I can start from scratch on Biology (Intro to, Survey of Life), so I WON'T screw myself with the other biology. That was some Chemistry shit they threw in there. I can' remember all of those formulas. It sure as hell doesn't pertain to my major. I shouldn't complain because any other engineering major I would've taken Physics. The word itself hurts my head.
Now that we got that out of the way...
I just finished the greatest chapter of humankind last night. I'm still worried that I didn't put anything extra and I kinda summarized on that last part before 'it' happened. It's more of a freak accident. I had a hard time writing it down because... well, what I had thought was pretty damn outlandish. My imagination and muse had a fight, resulting in catastrophic creativity to spew out my ears. My mind couldn't take it. Anyway, I pretty much had to scrap the whole thing after the brief conversation. For once, I did not go dialouge crazy. Except the psyche out part. Ha ha. Hell, there's the line "I know you're not expecting me to make a long-winded bullshit about nothing." Ha! Genius. *pets Patrick* After the comment I got from the previous chapter, I was just nervous. It wasn't totally negative, but made me think a little more. (4 pages worth of mecha vs. man is NOT enough, and I KNEW it) After looking at the ending I wrote during Lecture - I have to keep myself awake somehow - when I was typing, it literally made me go 'what the hell did I just write?' I wrote myself a little note [the last paragraph does not exist, therefore ignored]. It just felt ridiculously cheap. I don't think I ever did that before.
I'm getting a lot further with Epsilon than I thought. Not much though. I know I'm gonna borrow an idea from Eureka 7; use episode titles for the chapter names. It won't be spoilerish at all, I don't think. Plus, it'll be fun.
I stayed in from the meeting since I was feeling quite shitty... so to release this frustration, I played RE4. Well, finished up a 10th file. Amazing, I beat this game like 10 times, and I'm still wanting MORE. [/ninja voice] *Ahem*. So, I go, "Hmm, why not play the mini-game and unlock some more goodies?"
I played Assignment Ada first, and it took me about 2 hours to beat. In all honesty, I had to get some Mcs, so that took about 30 minutes, so really an hour and a half. Let's just say this. I just about chucked my controller at the TV, because it was just so frustrating. First, Ada doesn't have the ammo capacity that Leon has, let alone weapons. Just a Punisher, TMP (which I find out that this is my friend), and a semi-rifle. I had to get the plagas samples. Second of all, my main point of frustration that there needed to be more grenades than like, 3. Then again, I just ran from any groups of ganado and that fucking JJ.
Last was the issue of health. I swear, Ada can't take a hit worth shit. I mean, one smack and I'm already in the yellow, and the second one just kills me. This was a problem with Krauser, as I had to dodge with the buttons and I was just slow. So, I went to GF and found something of a solution: Run past him as he's charging back into the room I just came from, and go back out, so he's on the other side so, all I'd have to do is snipe him. It took me about 5 times to get it right but still. And, about every section had about hordes of ganado for no apparent reason (I'm talking at least a dozen) and you don't have anything to fend them off properly.
I got the Chicago Typewriter (awesome) and I went, "Hmm, maybe I can unlock that mafia and armor set!" So I played Separate Ways (with Ada, again) but this time with better weapons and such. But you couldn't upgrade it (boo). I like the shotgun though. It's basically Leon's mission in a really small nutshell. Like say, with the Green Catseye, Hourglass, and all of that. I fought a El Gigante with 20 handgun rounds and 10 shotgun rounds, and I still had some left over. YES. Although, the Sadler fight just about pissed me off to no end. It's like he didn't take any damage at all. And stupid me, I did not save all of those bowgun darts. I had like 10. I needed about 35. They work as excellent grenades, that's for sure.
I was tense around the part that Ada had to shoot the knife out of Krauser's hand so that he doesn't stab Leon in the chest (because face it, it was the only section that I had trouble on with the mashing of the buttons). Luckily, it was just a button press and it was shot away. Yay!
Later on, I finished the mini game and immediately started a new game, buying the typewriter and selecting the special costume. Let me say this: there is just nothing better than destroying ganado with a sleek, black mafia-esque suit with a tipped fedora. I just had a giggle-fit of fangirl-ness when I equipped the typewriter. I'll take a pic when I get home. And oddly, it gave me an idea pertaining to a short story in Epsilon. It's just the matter of who is going to wear it. ^_______^ (and I have noted that there is a SEVERE lack of Leon-wearing-a-fedora icons...)
And, for the first time in about a month or so, I actually typed. About 1,216 words, 4 pages. Which is like half a chapter or something, and this was in the matter of an hour or so. *huggles Patrick* That's like a new world record for me. And I really didn't even look at what I wrote. Half of the time - read 90% - it's really bare so later on, I fill in blanks as I go along and it's just a lot more detailed and such. I had to use some imagination on some parts, as with Xander attempting to make himself useful (which he is for a change), and my attempt to create some techno-babble. Hey, at least there's a gatling-gun involved, so that usually means that it's about to get ugly. I might have to split this fight as it's almost spilling into the 3,000 word range...which makes it the 2nd longest behind 13 - 3,461) But it's not redunant or anything.
But, after I deal with this essay thing, I'll continue on with the action-fest.
- Mood: giggly
- Music:Logic Board That Sinks in Diethyl Ether. - Ryo Ohnuki
I'm running on Full Throttle Blue Demon and, I got like 2 hours of sleep. Guess what time it is, kiddies!
A disclaimer: 80 to 90 percent of of what I'm about to say will most likely not make any kind of sense. Don't try to make sense of it, or you'll have a migraine of epic mass proportions. Uhm... that'd be all.
Ok, now we got that out of the way...this drink tastes like apple juice, some type of candy - perhaps Skittles or Starburst - and a dash of Red Bull. Who knows. Doesn't hold a candle to Red Bull or Monster, but you know, I've been drinkin' them since I heard about it. Although, I haven't gotten a exact ZERG RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSH but, I have gotten hyper when I drank about three that one time. That was the greatest.
Wait, lemme introduce Patrick. I already did that, you say? Oh. Well... Anyway, he keeps me up at night for no apparent reason, chattering. Not talking, but chattering. Like a squirrel and it just annoys the crap out of me, especially when it's really about nothing.But last night was sort of genius. I watch Ghost In the Shell because... well, it's awesome, although not for everyone. Technobabble and all of that junk and seriousness. So, it's around the 203X or so mark, and Pat's like, "well, if you decide that if you want to start another series, you should start with the kids." Think about it; my character's kids (the twins anyway) will be 20-ish by the time 203X rolls around and well, it's just another cycle, but way more complicated than what their parents went through. It's a whole 'nother ball game. But at the same time, it's the same. Just remixed. How I am even going to attempt this will be amazing because I have an attention of that as a goldfish. Or, I can go backwards a la MGS3 for like maybe 3 stories.
But yes, that will probably happen if it's not put on the backburner for god knows how long.
So, y halo thar shitty weather, pregame, and 'bama fans on Saturday. Ruined my hair and I had to flat-iron it down. I just realized that my hair really grew back since it's past my neck. Huzzah. But, that was like the worst game ever. Bama fans hollering at us, 9 in the morning, drunk as hell. I'm still hurting from pre-game (I knew I was going to do it anyway), yesterday I could barely walk. It's almost as bad as my first day practicing it. But hey, the warm (read: DELICIOUS) food we got after practice and the game was worth it. I mean, it beats Jason's Deli any day. 'Simple but nourishing meal' my foot. What can I say, it's free food though. You really can't argue with that. We're also getting new uniforms (and hats YES) for next season, and I hope we get capes. We are awesome and we need capes so we... no, because pre-game will be much difficult. Hmm. They told us that the 'forms are like 10 years old. Here's to hoping that they are all spiffy. (and has the new clothes smell, GET)
Also, BLUE MIRAGE LONG VERSION GET! YES! So, I now have that, and gigadelic original, and now I just need Ay Caramba and we'll be set. Like I said before, they sound the same, but it's made by the same person (well, maybe not Blue Mirage but it has the signature sound.) Trust me, you'll know what it is.
Rumor is afoot that MGS4 will be delayed to 2008. Hell to the naw, that would suck. I just hope the pS3 will have some sort of ridiculous price-drop say about half price for the 60Giggy model. Trust me, there isn't a game yet that screams 'OMG YOU MUST BUY' besides that, RE5, VF5, Tekken 6 (the hotness). It's just 4 games. There better be something in between that will be as awesome as those games. Otherwise, I'm just gonna have to sit the PS3 out for a long ass time.
On the other hand, there's plenty for the Wii. Now, Dad promised me that he'll get me one before the month is up. Today is the 29th. It's down to the m'f line here. I was doing pretty good last week, because it was the first time I had asked since he said it.
I'm also setting myself for some disappointment. Last time this happened was around my birthday when Play-asia had that sale. I wanted to get some IIDX games and such, and they were on sale; $30 for a otherwise $70+. I thought he had already ordered it and such, and I patiently waited for the UPS guy to come and deliver the goods.
And waited.
And waited.
I asked (read: pester) my dad about it like 2 months after my b-day, and he just told me that he didn't order them at all because he didn't have the money to do so. Granted I was disappointed, but I was also pissed off because he just plain lied to my face about it for 2 months. I really haven't trusted him since then to do this type of thing, so, I'm just waiting. Otherwise, it's gonna be a real sad day for me.
- Mood:
miffed - Music:Redial - Jun Chiki Chikuma
Not as epic as I thought it was going to be. First off, the weather was just real shitty on the way. I mean, when we flew, it was all clear, you can see the little puffy clouds... and then it becomes a sheet so, you're just looking at a sheet of white below you and above it is the blue sky and sun. NOTHING is up there. So, I guess when we hit about oh, the state of Texas, it kinda got grey. Pilot comes on the intercom, tells us to fasten the seatbelts because of potential turbulance. Well, I knew the weather was shitty then, but I shrugged it off. Turns out that we flew through some damn thunderstorms, and that there were actually tornado warnings and such going on later on in the night. I didn't get to sit near the window, just the aisle... tried writing something on Epsilon, which evolved into writing on a napkin during the band banquet... which I always wanted to try.
I didn't write anything at all, because I was so busy freezing my ass off during practice, doing nothing since my alternate all of the sudden wanted to march...pissed me off to no end, and my demeanor was just shot to hell for the rest of the trip. My knees were hurting and my feet... god. Half of the time, my fingers were so cold, I could barely bend them; having a metal instrument didn't help at all. And I misplaced my gloves so I had to bum off of someone. I also didn't write because my body shut itself down without me realizing it. One event that comes to mind was when we went to see Deja Vu. I went to sleep after 30 minutes, and didn't wake up until 45 minutes were left. I pretty much had enough info to where I went 'oh, so that's what happened'. That ending was a real twist though. We were all like "NOOO DENZEL" but, he came back and we were like "OH SNAP, HE'S ALIVE". The opening credits were cool because they played it twice. I barely caught the Touchstone Pictures, but when they showed the one with the road and the lighting, everyone went, "What the shit?". Awesome effect.
I got nothing, except a gymish bag, sweatpants, scarf, a little hat, gloves that don't fit my hands, 2 bottles of scented showergel from Bath and Body Works, 6 pens because I lost one on the plane so this was more of a just in case thing...I think that's it. No books, no games... I wanted to go to Barnes and Noble, but it was too far from the hotel and taking the taxi would be expensive. So, I basically traveled by foot. Which was a bad idea since I have flat feet and I had the wrong shoes. And, I should've listened to my parent on the whole take the huge jacket since it's gonna be cold... yeah, that fucking wind cut RIGHT through me.
Oh, and we didn't go to the Dallas game. Fucking jerks didn't have enough tickets for us; we needed 400. Now, why ask us to play for halftime and you don't have that many? I thought about just going for halftime and leave right after. Fucking jerks; they deserved to lose v. Detroit anyway.
Oh, I actually did write. Had to get the idea on napkin before I lost it. I would type it down but you know, it's real spoilersome, and I'm not sure I'm good writing sentimental stuff. I dunno, you be the judge when I post it.
I'll write somemore later. I'm still kinda recovering from the trip...
- Mood:
not pleased
( And they are... )
Haha, I can't believe I belted this out at 3 in the morning. I'm so awesome.- Mood:
accomplished
Today is so depressing. It's so cloudy, foggy, and rainy. It's just one of those days that you just lie in bed for a good bit, since you really don't want to do anything, and you can't think straight. Pretty much after the quiz in Tech and Civ, I fell asleep. Not like that, but where some of it seeped in so, it's not like I completely did. Geography was cancelled due to a technical error, but we still have our exam on Thursday...watch as some BS questions appear. So, I'm just very tired right now...
Somehow, I am writing on Chaos again, and I finally finished 12 on Zero. I finally decided that I am gonna post the full chapters up on TZ instead of posting a snip and going back to edit it. Honestly, I feel like I'm giving away things ahead of time, and thus, losing impact on certain things. I still don't know what Epsilon is gonna be, or if I want to seperate it into the main story and 2 subplots.
But yeah. that's what I have been thinking about these past two weeks I guess. Keep in mind that is probably going to be the first third of the story. It already sounds interesting, huh? Yeah. The things I can come up with...
- Mood:
confused - Music:Strange Flower - ???
