So, I'm back in school.

You think I'd be more excited about this -- which I am -- but, for the past week or so... I don't know how to describe it, but basically the notion of starting from pure scratch has and still does scare me. It feels like I'm a fish out of water, and the water is out of reach. I don't know if I'll flop into the water, or just dry up. I'm socially awkward (points to title). I don't know if I'm shy or...

Anyway, ROTC. Let me put it this way; I'm already isolated due to my shitty grade. I want to be in the program, but for me to be a cadet, I got to have a 2.0gpa. I just got off of suspension, and thus, it will take me forever and a half to build it back up; I'm already about a year and a half behind, which means I know I won't graduate on time, or even the year after, and I'm behind the powercurve. It's one of those feelings like, what am I gonna tell people? How will they view me when I tell them? In short, I can't take the lab, and I'm listed as "special student" which to me says, you can still take the class but you suck  -- grade wise. It'll be real apparent come Wednesday, and I'm prepared for whatever questions that may come from my peers. (They're a great bunch from what I can tell.)

However, I'm not gonna let that stop me. I've sat out a whole year; I'm not gonna have some numbers bring me down. It's a new year, and I can start fresh. I've already planned out what I'm gonna do on Wednesdays; wear something nice/casusal to compensate for lack of uniform. Hell, it's the only feasible option.

Muse wise; I've been good with Patrick and he has to me. In the course of 2 days, I've basically got a chapter writ down and the majority typed in the span of about... 2 or 3 days. I've been working at a snail's pace for so long (I blame the bouts of depression), it's like a flood gate. I've also solved some of the things I've left wide open. While drinking hot chocolate. I'm convinced that the frappu distracts me because it is that delicious. Help me if I get the Venti.

So, last year after a pretty rough semester, I decided that I should take a whole year off. I needed to get myself together again. For the most part, I'm back to my ol' self.

But, of course I changed. I am slightly more organized, but I'm motivated to get stuff done. We've been talking about me living in dorms -- that's if we get enough financial aid to cover the price, and if I can even get one. It's on a first come, first serve basis. I'm pretty sure that everyone will want to live in the new dorms that's being built. 2 people with separate bedrooms and sharing a single bathroom is a lot better than 4 people sharing a suite bathroom that is about as wide as the tub. I wish I was joking on that.

Anyway, if I do get a dorm, I won't have to worry about waking up 2-3 hours ahead just to drive and get to class and getting a parking spot, skipping breakfast (this happens a lot btw)... I'm already stressed out that early in the morning, and so I concentrate a little less. Besides, morning classes suck unless you get the right people (and prof).

I went to the advisor, Mrs. J --- back up, I had to find a parking spot, not on campus because I didn't have a little hangtag, and it doesn't help that any place within a 2 mile radius has one of those signs about towing. So, I did what I did before and parked at the (drop-n-pickup) laundromat. I still had to walk a good distance, but I came prepared with m'nike shoxs. Great shoes. I also got some free food. Hotcha, lunch.

So, I went to my advisor and talked a little bit. She's such a nice woman, Mrs. J. She highly suggested that I don't take any math or science for a while; I wasn't planning to anyway. But, she said around 12-14 hours to start me off again. So, what I had in mind is classes that'll raise my (overall) gpa. What I have is

• History 2 (long as I get the same prof from last time, it's a cinch)
• Air Force ROTC (it's sorta a requirement -- either that or Public Speaking. No way in hell I'm taking PS)
• Computer Apps (Cinch. I hear they use Vista)
• First YearSeminar
• World Literature
• Either Golf, Racquetball, or Kickboxing

12/13 hours right there. Mrs. J also recommended me doing PE classes, which hasn't occured to me. I sorta confered with emeraldstag and for the most part, it's an easy A. I talked with Poppy about it and said I would probably like kickboxing or racquetball... they're both aggressive and I am actually an aggressive person. Yeah, I know, it's shocking. Sure, I look meek and shy, but... you know the saying about the quiet people...

But, I'm leaning towards Golf due to the fact it's on an actual golf course. Plus, we have some clubs in the garage (well, it's Moppy's), so I'm already good to go. For now, I'm just concentrating on getting my GPA back up, which will probably take a year.

Now it's just the scheduling. And I probably don't have priority registration anymore... For some reason, every class I have, has MW. The only class that has Friday is History. It's just 2 days out of the week. I wonder...