Title: Of Tattoos of Scars
Pairing: Fem!Shep/James Vega
Word Count: 1690

I'm pretty miffed at Bioware that Vega wasn't romanceable, to the point where I had to write fic. I haven't written fic for anything since the 7th grade, let alone for a pairing. Besides, how could they not? They played on everything I <3. Damn that little brother shirt. I actually don't get the hate he has. Anyway, I typed this on the top of my head in a two-day span. I'm proud of this. I DON'T EVEN CARE.


( In which they talk over some drinks...  )

I have to thank emeraldstag first of all.

Back when I didn't have a 360, he used to be like "omg mass effect" and "MASS EFFECT *kermit arm flail*" and I kinda hated it bc, I didn't have one and he talked about it so damn much.

So, when I was finally making bank and I found a Black Friday deal for the 360 -- 250GB w/ Halo:Reach and Fable 3 and I've bought maybe 15-16 games since then. I have a massive backlog to go through. Anyway, as time went on, I asked, "What game can I play many times over?" And I asked him again, and of course, said Mass Effect. Normally, I'm not a fan of RPGs so I was a little iffy on it. I sat on the thought of it until I went to the BX and I saw ME2 Platinum Hits for $20. It was cheap, and being the cheap gamer I am...

• Example being that I picked up DJ Hero with the controller for $7 and Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood CE for $42 the other day. I saved about $130. They were the last copies for the 360. Hell yeah. 

But then, I said, I haven't played ME1. How can I just jump into a middle of a franchise? (Which now because I got AC:B, I need to get the previous games and AC:R, and the newest one, AC:Revo) I couldn't find a disc for it, so I just loaded it on to my HD -- awesome feature, btw, and then I went and bought ME2.

ME1, not going to lie, I died a lot, and I didn't quite enjoy it until I came about a revelation. (Note: I actually knew what happens in ME1 since I watched Maxwell Adam's LP/stream ) It came about during the Benezia fight when you have to fight the asari commandos and the geth snipers first before you can wail on Benezia. At first I thought, man my (and squad) armor sucks. Well, since I was a Infiltrator, I could only wear Light/Medium armor, Garrus did have some weak armor and Wrex... he could suck it up.

But then no, it wasn't my armor, and I thought, man, maybe my weapons aren't upgraded/modded! No, I had the powerful weapons (at that point)... maybe it's my plan of attack! Normally I sent them up the steps to block that way while I ran to the side to buy time and... well, it worked for a while. I wasn't close to giving up but I was getting pensive. That's when I discovered radioactive rounds, aka, MURDER BULLETS. And it made life easier after that, and I only died probably twice in the entire game after that. With that, Armor Piercing Rounds, and my deadly sniper skills (once I got a good one anyway along with the mods), the game became fun.

I especially had fun with the dialouge choices, as I went full Renegade and somehow had enough points in the end to Paragon Saren. My Fem!Shep, Alexa, was 90% rene and 10% para. The 10% was from my crew and doing stuff for them, with Garrus' side mission and Wrex's family armor. I often said, "BITCH TO MANY, FRIEND TO FEW" in my Shep's case. I helped out Parasini in Noveria, and Emily Wong in various places. Of course I punched the reporter and chortled.

I'm gonna be honest and say that I basically used Wrex and Garrus the whole game. Ashley didn't do shit (and I left her ass on Virmire), and Kaiden... well it was either him or Liara. At the time though, I didn't romance right, so I did not get the sexy scene with Kaiden before Ilos. (in ME3, in the beginning, I regretted not knowing how to do that -- damn he is built, hnnngh). So, with that in mind, I tried again in ME2, only shit went down. Shep died, and Cerebus -- fucking shit up in the first game but at the time, I didn't think too much of it other than, 'Man, these guys are kinda bad'.

So, when they were a major plot point in the 2nd game, the record scratch went off in my head. Techinically Shep is a zombie, but I digress. So, I had to gather up the crew again. I don't remember what order I went, but since I had the DLC installed, Zaeed was first. Never really used him. But then, I heard about this archangel fellow and went "hmm." Color me surprised when it was Garrus. Man, he went from awkward to badass in about a 2 year span. But oh no! a rocket to the face! Nah, he's okay, just scarred.

And of course I romanced Garrus. He's so awesome! Although, at Horizon (or Freedom's Progress), I felt a little bad for Kaiden. He got all mistrust-y on me, but I was set by that point. I was SO happy that everyone survived the suicide mission. I had enough renegade points to stop the Miranda/Jack and Tali/Legion deals, or else I would have had to choose one.

I hate choosing. I was very careful in my selections for the teams too. I also made it a point to not do anything after the crew was kidnapped, and go right for the O4 relay. That way, I didn't lose Kelly. I had to send Mordin with them; and during the Human Reaper fight -- it looked like a giant Terminator! I took Tali and Jack with me, since I did use the wikia -- the more defense you had left behind the better for survival for all crew. I wrecked havoc with the Widow and the Particle Beam.

And then ME3 came about a few weeks of me completing ME2. I was pumped -- way more than I have been since I've started gaming -- I had the preorder and everything. I've... well, Reapers are fucking shit up in everyway. So's Cerebus and I'm a little suspiscious. I speculated briefly  to emeraldstag about TIM (Illusive Man) about how he could be Reaper related. I mean, his eyes for one thing, and I compared them to a Husk's. They have that same... weirdness to them.

Everyone was up in arms about Vega, but you know what? I actually like him. No, I wasn't worried about the potential bro-ness. Actually, I was distracted by his little brother shirt thing he has going on. JFC, Bioware, that right there? And then later on in the game when he get's a tattoo HNNNGH, why didn't you make him romancable? Shep said it best, "You're a tease."

And Kaiden, I didn't know he was that built too! But, I wasn't wavered in my love for Garrus, so I squeed a little when I got the chance to rekindle that romance. It came into a cultivation last night, and while some people weren't statisfied with that, I definitely was. It's just the way I roll apparently. There were, *ahem* other opportunities for other romanceable things too but, nope. But I really wanted Vega to be one. There's always fics though. I might even write a drabble. <_<;

At least for this playthough, but I am playing my head!canon -- Earthborn, Ruthless, Infiltrator, Renegade*.

*This is actually not true in ME3. Case in point, the geth and quarians. I practically lost my shit over a choice I picked first; so much that I had to replay about 40 minutes just to pick the other one. I couldn't live with myself. Actually, a lot of choices in ME3 were pretty hard to choose, and yes, there are some parts that are just... rage-worthy. I just hope that I made it right or at least not as damaging to the final story.

I don't know what point I am in the game, as I gotta help out the asari. I've done very little sidequests but I hope the game doesn't kick me straight back to Earth as soon as I do what I gotta do.

Still, very good series. I don't have that many qualms with it as some other people do.

...I've basically dropped off the face of the Earth. Here's what happened in that span between then and now:

• Failed out of university
• A situation of romance that damn near killed my friendship (but in the end, it didn't work out for him because she ended up being batshit crazy; it's more of a I-told-you-so) with a certain someone.
• Majorly depressed for a year.
• Joined the Air Force
• Basic Training (and the hilarity and madness that came along)
• Tech School
• First base ... which the squadron I'm a part of is closing down due to budget cuts. I've only been here 3 months, so there's uncertainty as to where I'll be stationed next. I am fighting for S. Korea.

Good? Good.

How long ago has it been since I had my last post?

Progress:

( In which I have OCD on DDR. It's nucking futs. )

Okay so, that post I made about... two months ago?

Yeah, render that fucking moot. I'm almost to the point where I've progressed so much that I have about 5/6 9footers left and the boss songs.

You see, after the tournament, maybe about two weeks after, I decided, you know what? I am gonna start doing 9s. At that point, I could do it, but it was more of a stamina issue (more on that). And, I wrote down all of the songs that were a 9 and 10 on Heavy/Challenge. And then I went through the task of trying to remember how many I've actually passed and calculated the percentage. It was pretty depressing at first.

The next day, I showed it to everybody and the immediate reaction was 'wow, you're crazy' but that subsided after I told of my mission: cover close or all of my bases before the next tournament. Okami was the one that was helping me check off the songs. I was actually more comfortable playing with him since he wasn't like as... scrutinizing about it. There were some rough spots, and how I passed certain songs that were harder than the others, which struck some people backwards. I know some songs did. Like Dead End. I almost full combo'd the bitch when I attempted it. Almost a AA even. And yet, at the time, I couldn't pass... what was it?

So, anyway, I'm down to about 5 or 6... 9's and the next 10, Sakura.

Rhythm and Police (Almost flipped a table over this)
Sakura (ditto but, I had a incident with this today)
So Deep (stamina iss.)
Paranoia Survivor (even though this is a 10, it... it's in the list to pass. It is a gateway 10)
Across the Nightmare Oni (ugh)
exotic ethnic

I believe that's it unless I'm totally missing something. That's in 2 months time. That's a bit beastly, if I say so myself. Now, I'm often paying with Okami on 9runs as I call it. Sure, I might fail, depending on what he picks, but thats okay. Now, for some reason, I'm starting not to breathe. This is an issue, and I would just stop cold to catch my breath.

Well, I'm getting constantly yelled at Okami and Trent, moreso Trent. He made the suggesting while we were... sitting around doing nothing, if someone touches the bar or something it should either kill you or shock you. And then he looks dead at me, and says, "And if you stop, I'm gonna kick you in the ass!"

And he did too. At first I thought he was kidding, but uh... nope. I made sure that I didn't when I played HVAM... oh lord, that song. Let's say this, I had a breathing problem. I would be fine in the first 30/40 seconds of it. And, if you heard the song, it's where the EKG gets a little crazy and then flatlines. That's where I died all the time, until Okami told me to breathe at the jumps. That actually worked. And then I fucked out at the very end, with about 3 steps left. I'm not even joking. This happened with R&P but I always fucked up on that song due to crossover gallops.

I hate crossover gallops. Gallops in general but when you put those two together... flip a horse. And the thing was, I did all of that and failed at the ending as well. I'm gonna beat it out of spite, if I can. If not, training at Trent's.

Speaking of HVAM and him, we... sorta had a mishap yesterday. He gave blood and he was trying to get the sticker off of his shirt, but was being retarded about it... and then he came over to me. I suddenly got retarded too, because of where it was placed -- over his heart. Outside I'm like 'o_o;" and on the inside I'm like 'eeeeee!' I showed a combination of both, because I was just tempted... anyway, I finally got it off and we just laughed at our retardation.

Let me put it this way: the way we act towards each other sometimes, it's like we are going out with each other, I guess. Like Okami asked me one day, out of the blue, did I prefer black or white dudes. I answered it doesn't even matter to me, and he said that he never would've guessed that -- either I wasn't interested or I already had a boyfriend. I pointed out that if I did, they'd probably not have seen me as much as they do. Anyway, I asked Trent one night about something... I don't know how it came out to be, but I asked him, what he thought about me.

I was a little taken aback that he said he was interested me, but I had two things: my aggression (the bluffing variety, I think) and my insecurity. 8th grade has ruined me, let's just put it like that. But then again, if he hadn't taken interest, then I would've never gotten that impromptu foot rub (and me suddenly yelling commands a minute later, IT WAS THAT GOOD). Or the constant teases and hugs. It's perfect for me because I'm 5'2 and he's 6ft. We have similiar personalities, and I had to defend him on that when he caused a little drama. I like how no one said much after that.

When I thought I invited everyone else to the campus band concert (oh lord), but I apparently just invited him. He couldn't go due to chemistry study... and I neglected to say that the concert wasn't gonna be that long... but he was willing to escort me up there when I'm all gussied up (my sundress with some jewelry and some great lotion -- I think either the coconut or jasmine vanilla.). He could've been a jerk and not tell me about him not being able to go at all, but the fact that he was willing to do that is a bit of a bonus in my book.

So, as you probably can tell, I have a bit of a crush on him. He knows it; when I told him how much my dream had bothered me (legit too)... that was the beginning right there. Or, confirmed my own... or something. I really didn't consider it the beginning of the semester. Maybe it was that he gave me orange juice? Or that he smells really good when he sweats? (That...was a bit awkward, but that IS true. I think it's pheromones at work but still~)

...but I digress.

But, anyway, I've improved! ...but my stamina still fucking sucks. I wonder what next week will hold. I have about 4 left off the top of my head. Well, 4 9s and the boss songs. Okami suggested that I do 9s that I know I can at least AA or pass, and then do Paranoia Survivor for the last stage to build up my stamina rapidly. I'm still using the bar but... mainly for crossovers I'm totally not familiar with. Or on fast songs.

Yeah, long story short, I lost on both brackets. Well, three brackets.

( Tournament Results )

.

Last night though, I sorta confessed that I liked him. But, on how I presented that was a totally different way. Y'see, I had a dream the night before last.

( And Tim's inkling was right. )
But, I'm not gonna read too much into it.

Not yet anyway.


 

Yeah, I shouldn't take this seriously, but at heart, I'm a competitive person.

Last few days, I've been aggressive about it. To the point I've asked for a little training. Not just doing crossovers and that mess, but reading on 1x. A sheer pain in the ass, but already I can read a lot better.

Point being that I somehow picked Orion .78 -- the fast one -- on my first song, STANDARD (an decent 8) and almost AA'd it. Like, a few away. Next song was Dam Dariam on Heavy... almost got a AA. The last song was Broken My Heart, in which it was a suggestion. It was a low-middle 9. I wasn't expecting the crossover towards the middle, and thus, I couldn't deal with them by the time I got to the step-jumps. Technically, I could've cheated with just jumping the whole time, but my mind didn't really register that.

I don't know if you have noticed, but I really hate crossovers. Particularly if they are the ones that are half-spins thrown in there for good measure. It's not that I'm not good at though, but because I am short, I have to twist my body a little more. I don't twist that much. Maybe that's why... anyway, to help with THAT problem was playing Era -- a mid 8. Not that it has crossovers, but there is a lot of twisting and stream. But, I had to do it on 1x... no Solo, so I was pretty much forced to reread the whole thing. And I'm still not used to that soft pad of his -- even though we switched out the soft foam for the hard foam. It was harder on my ankles, and I got tired a lot faster.

Long story short, I still don't know how to make my steps delibrate, but I just need to stop sliding my foot so much. Playing flat footed is a lot harder and ironic; I do have flat feet, but I tend to play on my toes.

Toes = faster response but sometimes inaccurate
Heels/Flatfoot = slower response but more accurate

But, I am feeling a lot better about myself than the beginning of this week, as I did pass a really... tiring nonstop round. I think it was 321 Stars, My Heaven is a 57 something, and Sync... I know I had to push through sync because I was just so tired... but after the minor crossovers and towards the end, I got through that. The last song was My Sweet Darlin', and I called it quits and asked Okami to finish it for me. Clearly I was winded, but I powered through 3 8's in a row, and not a wuss 8 either. But, whatever, I got through it.

I'm no longer hacking and I feel much better in energy terms, and I think I have a legit chance of placing high in the girls' bracket -- Cedric informed me that some girls play Standard, but he hasn't seen any that plays Heavy. At least, not consistently anyway. Or, unless that girl is there.

Anyway, we had to work some kinks about traveling. Apparently, I was the only one that was gonna bother coming back to Auburn right after the tourney was over (hint, pretty much everyone is from Bham)... that also meant that I would have to drive to and fro -- by myself, and with zero energy. Oh, and in the dark on the interstate. But, I didn't want to impose on staying overnight (or the weekend for that matter). T-kun actually didn't want to go in the first place -- the only person in our group not to go. Of course, we bugged the shit out of him (particularly Alex). So, last night he decided to go, plus I could stay at his house overnight so that I'd didn't have to go right back to Auburn.

I just told my parents that I was gonna be back around mid-Saturday, which sounds about right anyway. Don't worry, there's no shenanigans between us.

I got the little speech from Poppy... I don't know that I've mentioned this but he has paranoia tendencies, being in the Army for almost 23 years, 2 wars, Grandpoppy being in a gang (yes, that is seriously true and very awesome at that)... so, I need to at least give him names and cars for 'just in case' that something goes down and he needs to call on the calvary. But, I've got good friends so, there's no need for that type of thinking.

Yes, he's that type of person, but it's not as bad as you think.

...but if SunKiss Drop comes up, I am gonna be in some serious trouble. >_<

Remind me not to play DDR, or even get near it. I will possibly kill myself playing it. Or did I do that already?

( In which I broke down and cried )

So, you know how the last few weeks that there was this mega blizzard everywhere else except the South?

Well, it happened! Again!

This is like the 3rd year in a row it legit-ly snowed.

At first, I was real skeptical, because  a few weeks before that even, it looked like it was gonna snow. Weatherman, as usual, hyped it up beyond belief. Hey, we don't' get snow, so naturally, everyone freaks the fuck out, even if its just an half an inch. I've said this before. Long story short, it didn't, but it got stupidly cold.

Then, the forecast called for Rain and Snow. Of course, I'm ignoring it... until about Tuesday ish when it was like Dallas got hit with a foot of snow, and it was really heading towards our way. It actually held up and on Thursday, it happened. The lady that normally like does announcements was all dramatic. "Guys!" *pause, everyone looks* "No school tomorrow!" Some people were like FUCK YEAH... as if they weren't expecting it at all. When Mississippi got drenched with snow, I basically said, "ok, how much?"

I was debating on if I should go home on Thursday night, but I decided against it, simply because of free DDR. I'm not shameful about this. Tim (friend and the person who owns the machine) allowed us to clean the panels because, well, some of us have been getting shitty scores. He said that if we did, he'd turn on Free Play for the rest of the weekend (later, the student center was closed on Friday...). Of course, we obliged and we got the materials needed. Well almost. We thought it was just gonna be a simple cleaning job with just a screwdriver, windex, and a flashlight. Let's just say, it turned into a repair job. See, the previous owner fucked everything up. The screws were so dirty for one thing, and some of them were stripped completely. This pic here, is 45 minutes later, with just one arrow taken off. Just. One.
D


As you can see, it's fucking dirty, even the panels.

We were shocked. Even the screws in the panels were rusted and everything. "We're gonna need a better screwdriver than this; this one is a pussy," said Okami (W-kun from the previous post; rule of cool). While this is happening, people were shocked that the machine was off and we were basically taking it apart. And, those in the game room kept asking us did Tim knew about all this. Of course. More frustration, and more screws being stripped.

This week, I was flat broke. Well, parents were flat broke, and therefore I was too.

Didn't have a dollar, nuthin'. Except a $30 gift card from Walmart, since I got the wrong printer (turned out to be a photo printer, not a regular printer) and didn't have the paper thing.

So, about Tuesday, since I don't have class on that day, went down to the game room, great time waster and all of that. There was a black purse, just sitting in the chair of the only empty table available. I thought, y'know, that person just went to get something to eat and left it there. About 15 minutes went by. T and C-kun sat down at the table, and asked me if it was mine. I answered no, and I still waited. Keep in mind that not many girls hang around the game room or outside of it.

Curious, I just went ahead and went through it. There was a nano, some keys; fished through the wallet to find like a number, but some cards, a tanning bed membership, credit cards...and then the biggest mistake I've made, I opened it fully. Now, it wasn't much but there was a lot of $1's and a $5, maybe totaling up to $10-12. I was broke. More so, a broke DDR player. That is about the worst combination on the planet. I thought about it. She's not gonna miss that $5. But, I didn't.

I just closed it back up, put the purse in view, just in case she came back. If not, I was gonna take it to R-san. About 45 minutes, about the next class change, a girl asked me if it was mine. I answered no, and she blew a loud sigh of relief. I didn't question her or anything (because I looked at the sports card thingie we have.)

Of course, there was that pang of... I don't even know what it was to be honest. I could've just taken the monies, and said nothing about it (or say something like it was there before I got there.) But then, my guilt would've driven me insane. Hell, it was driving me insane before. It was about the level that I accidentally spilt Kool-Aide on the old Bible we (still) have when I was about 10 or so. Literally cried over that.

I gotta say though, I got rewarded for doing the right thing.

First, for some reason I went over to the DDR machine, and I found 75cents in it (the amount to play). I was enthused to say the least. It turned out to be Wulfy's quarters...

Then yesterday, me and aforementioned Wulfy went to Walmart via transit --which I didn't know about to be honest -- because I needed to go get something that wasn't lasgana or whatever, and he needed to get some air fresheners for his room. The bus lady warned us to be back at a specific time, 30 minutes in fact. Let's just say I can't jump a fence because I am just short. Anyway, got the stuff, and waited for the bus to come back. I panicked a little bit, until I read the transit stops on TEH INTERNETS. Then I was fine. So, we got back to the game room (we left our stuff with L-kun because we both knew he was playing Brawl) and we saw these cameras and stuff. T and C-kun were playing DDR. Tim was nearby (the owner of said machine) was like 'yeah, it's on Free Play...' that's all we heard.

The only reason that they were there was because of the basketball game (which is on as we speak) was gonna be on ESPN U, and it was gonna be a part of campus life segment or whatever. And they filmed a lot. Me and Wulfy played AM-3P, My Summer Love (in which I had a massive fail during the small run in there. I couldn't reach the bar in time) and Kind Lady. And something else. Last Message was not one of them. I finally learned the small routine that involves turning away about twice from the screen itself. Oh, and recorded T-kun playing It's Raining Men... I wish I had shot Rhythm and Police too.

After much antics, the camera crew thanked us. Tim had to run somewhere and entrusted Wulfy with the keys. It was still on Free Play. Free Play is like honey to bees. Afterwards, I got tired, and went back to the suite, and I was about to nuke the food in the microwave. That is, until my suitemate informed me that she somehow broke the rotating table in the microwave. I wanted to question how she even managed that, but I just quietly got the cookie sheet and went down to the kitchen.

Then today, after my lab class, went to the game room, and attempted to write (no luck). And I told Wulfie about the microwave incident and extremely hungry because of it. Long story short, we went upstairs to Chik-fil-a and grab some lunch, and uh...he bought me some too. It was extra delicious. Of course I thanked him!

Oh, and I was told a great joke. Keep in mind, it's only a joke.

T-kun: Now I know why Haiti had that earthquake...
Me, C-chan, C-kun: *raise eyebrow*
T-kun: *straight face* Wulfy went down there to play DDR.
Us: ...*laughter*

I am not gonna explain it; you figure it out. I was glad that I wasn't drinking anything.

So besides the fact that I overslept for Japanese (again), broke microwave, being broke... it's been a good week.